Sex, Drugs, and Rock of Love

Story of my life. Just kidding, obviously not.

I have mixed feelings about Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. I loved it: I loved his writing, I loved the topics he addressed, and I loved his humor. It is also very clear that this guy is smart: he's analytical and he appears to be an original thinker. However, the mixed feelings come into play when considering the importance of this book. It isn't important. It's observant, but that's about it. It doesn't change the way I look at things and it isn't going to have an impact on the world. It does, however, smack you in the face with self awareness if you don't have any already.

His writing is very complex, as are his analyses. It's a great book and you should read it. My favorite part was his essay on The Real World (on MTV). This is my favorite part for one reason: it makes me feel less guilty about watching Rock of Love. The Real World is something of a cousin to Rock of Love, and if a guy this smart watches TRW as religiously as I watch RoL, I guess all hope has not been lost.

Best Quote:
"The three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can love them:..."
Read that section, page 126.

A Long Way Gone

I am not sure what to say about this book. In sum, a man recounts his experiences as a child soldier and his subsequent rehabilitation in Sierra Leone in the 1990s. I just felt bad for him the whole time - he seemed to have so many run-ins with death, he came so close to getting out successfully so many times, and he just narrowly missed it. I'll go ahead and spoil one part of the book for everyone, since I'm sure no one is going to read it: he had been wandering around in the jungle for months, being hunted down by RUF (rebel) soldiers, being shot at, getting wounded, searching desperately for his family (and wondering if they were even alive), and when he finally gets word that they are in the next village, he misses seeing them by minutes, literally. They are killed in an attack just minutes before he finds them. Shit.

His prose is stripped down and he presents the facts without any emotion, without trying to justify his actions, and without blaming anyone. After reading the book, I can't believe he was able to get out of Sierra Leone, get back into society, function as a normal person, and then write a book depicting all of these horrible things he experienced as a 12 year old. Without losing his mind.

The Kite Runner

Holy shit. I've never whipped a book across my room before, but I did with this one. Twice. Parts of the plotline made me cringe (literally), some parts made me throw my hands over my face in disgust, and some made me so furious I had to stop reading. It was powerfully written, and (relatively speaking), quite unpredictable.

This book is fantastic not only for the responses it illicits from readers, but also because it makes people in the Middle East look like humans (as opposed to just numbers in a death toll).

My favorite quotes:

"I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn't. I just watched. Paralyzed."

"There is a way to be good again."

Chelsea's Horizontal Life

God she's good. Chelsea Handler is extraordinarily funny and writes very well. I think I liked "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" a little bit more, but "My Horizontal Life" was outstanding as well.

I love how frank she is, not only about the guys, the situations, and her "influences" (drugs and alcohol), but also about herself. She's just hilarious.

Some of my favorite quotes (taken completely out of context):

"If you've ever seen the hind legs of a German shephard trotting away from you, then you know what my ex-boyfriend's calves looked like."

"It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One."

"Within the two hour time frame of the romantic movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by "coincidence" somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers."

"Many people feel like a one-night stand is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. I disagree. There are many ways to get to know someone, and my personal favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose."

"Generally, this type of underwear wasn't worn by anyone under sixty."

PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions of Ordinary Lives

I read PostSecret.com every Sunday (that's the day it is updated to contain new posts). PostSecret is a "community art project" and this is the book that contains the first few entries. It's a quick read: 272 pages of postcards/mailings that contain anonymous secrets; it takes well under an hour to finish, intro included. Some of the postcards are really funny ("When I first meet someone, I imagine what it would be like to smack them across the face") and some are really sad ("I wish he had forgiven me... While he was still alive"). It's an interesting assortment of random thoughts and confessions.

My favorite humorous quote: "I am a Southern Baptist Pastor's Wife. No one knows I don't believe in God." Well, depending on your perspective, I suppose it could also be a sad quote.

Outliers: The Story of Success

Malcolm Gladwell is an exceptional writer. Outliers was painstakingly researched. His analysis was dead on. The whole book was utterly captivating. Read it. And then get started on your 10,000 hours for an activity of your choice.

Testing My Tolerance

Voltaire's "Treatise on Tolerance" was decent. He makes some exceptional, forward-thinking statements, especially for his time. He wants everyone to stop squabbling over religion and let each other live in peace. Excellent proposition, sir! But the execution of this plan seems slightly illusive, Voltaire. Next time you're trying to start a movement, a game plan would be nice.

I had to read this for my Trials class (well, actually I only had to read the first and last five chapters, but I figured I had already waded through the bulk of the intellectual material, I might as well finish it and count it toward 52 in 52). He really does make some good points, supported by facts and logical analysis. I had 2 problems though: no strategy to implement his plan, and his style was incredibly condescending. In referring to his Christian beliefs, he made statements like, "Our faith is divine, we must forgive others for their misconceptions." I lost a bit of respect for Voltaire when I found out he was religious; while he was spouting the ideals of tolerance, he was simultaneously belittling those who were not Christians. Yuck.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.

This book rocked my world. Chelsea Handler, the host of "Chelsea Lately" on E! is the female equivalent of Jon Stewart (from "The Daily Show, with Jon Stewart"). Obviously, there was nothing life-altering about this book, but it was truly hilarious and gives new meaning to "reading for fun." Her sense of humor is dry, ironic, and blatant. I loved it. As I read it on the bike at the YMCA, I constantly burst out laughing, treadmill occupants' opinions of me be damned.

A few quotes:

While dining at Dans le Noir, a "dine in the dark" restaurant: "Sarah, no one can see you here, who cares? Take it off and rest your tickets on the table. I'm thinking about pulling my pants down just for shits and giggles."

"Yeah. They kicked me out and told me never to come back, and called me a wesbian... Yeah, and that's not the worst of it. I think I just got dry humped. By a woman. And paid for it."

After Chelsea's friend, Morgan, sent Chelsea a picture of her dog: "This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I was actually pleased because I had gathered the materials necessary to respond appropriately. I clicked reply and sent Morgan a picture of my cleaning lady. Standing next to the toilet, alone. I attached a message that read, "Not interested? Me neither."

Old Washed Up Skanks Justifying Their Current STDs

I gotta be honest, I absolutely hated "Let's Spend the Night Together" by Pamela Des Barres. I watch Rock of Love, so I read this to get an idea of what groupies are really like. To summarize the book: 376 pages of self-righteous, self-centered, poor writing about the (embellished) sexual conquests of groupies in the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Here is why it sucked:
1. I hated her diction.
a. Using "big girl" words like "sequestered" and "raucous" multiple times on the same page does not make you sound intelligent
b. If you are going to use the "big girl" words, make sure you know what they mean
2. I hated her Cosmopolitan-ish phrases
a. Alliteration in moderation, please
b. I am going to punch the next person who uses the phrase "devil-may-care" or some other cliche because they cannot come up with anything original to use descriptively
3. And most importantly, I hated the way she rationalized the groupie mentality (let me say here that I am not judging these groupies on what they did, but rather on how they make up bullshit reasons after its over).
a. You were NOT making some sort of freedom statement, y0u were having sex to build your self esteem (in most cases)
b. You did NOT pave the way for the women's movement (A direct quote from the book: "We paved the way for a lot of freedom that women take for granted and don't appreciate." Are you f-ing kidding me? You were having unprotected sex with a bunch of nasty guys who used you. Yeah, real top notch women's lib efforts there).

A final statement: Pamela Des Barres, you are a terrible writer and you are not educating anyone. You sound like one of those sad old men who sits in bars talking about his high school glory days.