Writing With Sources: A Guide for Harvard Students

Ohhhh so helpful. This was like a massive how-to of bibliography construction. I referenced it often. It scared me a bit though, because I initially felt like I couldn't write anything without getting Ad Boarded for plagiarism. Haha

The Portable Edgar Allan Poe

Hmmmm, Poe is a bit repetitive, I'll be honest. His writing is intense, and I really love how much effort he put into each "design."

Favorite Quote:

"Poe resumes drinking." "Poe continues drinking." "Poe relapses into alcoholism." "Poe begins drinking again." Perhaps this explains much of his writing...?

Short Guide

A Short Guide to College Writing was surprisingly helpful. It had concrete examples of how to improve your own writing (with easy steps) and was sometimes funny. The authors did an outstanding job of keeping things simple and useful.

Psychology

This was THE only textbook I ever looked forward to reading. I LOVED Gray's sense of humor, and I especially loved that it came through in his writing (in a TEXTbook!). Everything was short and sweet, and the examples and experiments Gray cited were amusing and sometimes funny. Nicely done, sir.

How the Mind Works

Well done, Pinker. This book was an informative introduction to behavioral psychology and neurobiology. I enjoyed it a great deal, but I enjoyed his lectures more...!

Favorite Quote:

"This type of conspicuous waste was not seen again until the Jewish bar mitzvah."

SuperFreakonomics

These guys are good. As always, I love the random connections they made. I found the section on global warming especially impressive and interesting.

Sometimes I wonder if they manipulate their statistics a bit, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

Favorite Quotes:
The entire section on prostitution

Eating the Dinosaur

Chuck Klosterman!!!!!!! Okay, this was a good one. There was a lot of randomness, but there were also plenty of pearls of wisdom thrown in. His essay about the Unabomber was genuinely outstanding, on many levels.

Favorite Quotes:

"Nader's reasons for running in 2000 (and in 2004) were unvarnished extensions of what he claimed to represent. He was not psychologically troubled. He was literal, which is received by the public as the same thing."

"Not all crazy people are brilliant, but almost all brilliant people are crazy."

"If you've spent any time trolling the blogosphere, you've probably noticed a peculiar literary trend: the pervasive habit of writers inexplicably placing exclamation points at the end of otherwise unremarkable sentences. Sort of like this! This is done to suggest an ironic detachment from the writing of an expository sentence! It's supposed to signify that the writer is self aware! And this is idiotic."

"I love the internet. And I will probably love whatever technological firebomb comes next. My apologies, Ted. Your thirty-five-thousand-word document makes sense to me, but I cannot be saved. You'll have to blow up my hands."

Another PostSecret Book (!)

Favorite Secrets:

"I used to tell myself I was helping my patients end the pain... Now I think I just wanted to play God."

"I resolve to be brave, and strong, and proud of my life."

"I already knew your secret. Everything is going to be alright."

"Since life is so short, I feel like I need to be active all the time. I feel guilty for taking time to relax."

"I meditate on the tiolet. (You should try it sometime.)

Creepy Stories

Just finished 'The Oxford Book of Gothic Tales," which is a collection of, duh, Gothic short stories. As messed up as it is, Gothic fiction is fascinating on many levels, and this collection was especially interesting. It's a good read if you're looking for twisted psychology, entrapment, and/or patriarchal oppression. Enjoy.

Favorite Stories:
Goat Girl
Ruins of the Abbey of Fitz-Martin
If You Touched My Heart

The Mysteries of Udolpho

Meh. Gothic fiction is always interesting, but I prefer the really messed up, perverted Gothic fiction to mere ghost mysteries.

Nice try, Radcliffe. I know you're a pioneer in Gothic fiction, but Austen was right to make fun of you.

Northanger Abbey

I really love Jane Austen, and Northanger Abbey is a keeper. It is a parody of Gothic Fiction (specifically, The Mysteries of Udolpho, by Ann Radcliffe) and it was clever.

Favorite Quotes:

"What ideas, Miss Morland, have you been admitting?"

"The heroine's father did not lock her away in the cellar as is the custom of one such story as this."

My First Complete Book in Months

Yes, I read this book for a class, my freshman seminar, "Dealing with the Global Financial Crisis." And then the author (Amity Shlaes, who has been on the Daily Show) came and spoke to our class. And then we had refreshments at Professor Ken Rogoff's house. With his wife Natasha (a former NBC producer), the chief economist from Kuwait, and the editor of the Wall Street Journal.

It was so awesome.

Only at Harvard.

Oh, and the book was outstanding too.

Business Etiquette 101

Short, to the point.

There were some simple tips and everything was explained fairly well with helpful examples.

I would say this is an excellent quick-reference book.

Me of Little Faith

Two things:
1. I thought this book was going to be funnier.
2. I think this book would have been funnier if I listened to it on tape (Lewis Black is all about the delivery).

Favorite Quotes:
"All I could think was, 'I need a cheeseburger.'"

"I probably use the word 'fuck' too much. That was probably her point."

A Man Without a Country

I love ya, Vonnegut, and I respect your political views, but this book was just too socialist for my taste.

As always, it was funny and engaging (and short!), but in the end, this was like a paranoid Commie rant (a bit). Still entertaining though (and still short!).

Favorite Quote:

"If I die, God forbid." It's funny because he says it frequently and he doesn't believe in God! Hehe.

Remember Me When I'm Gone

This one was "written" by Larry King and, basically, it was a collection of epitaphs written by celebrities and other famous figures for their own "funerals." The point was to get these people to reveal what they hoped they would be remembered for. Some of them were funny, some of them poignant, others long-winded and arrogant.

I actually expected more from this book, but it was a.) short, b.) fast-paced, c.) sometimes interesting, and d.) it accomplished its purpose: the celebrities really did reveal what they wanted people to remember about them.

Favorite Quotes:
Michael Ian Black: "And so it is with heavy heart that we bid Michael adieu. His taste in music may have been terrible, but his choice of wardrobe was worse."

Bobby Knight: "When my time on earth is done/ And I have breathed my last/ I want they bury me upside down/ So my critics can kiss my ass."

Donald Trump: "A man of great vision, who fulfilled many of his dreams, loved his family and was loyal to his friends."

PostSecret: A Lifetime of Secrets

Okay, let's be honest, the PostSecret books aren't exactly "books" in the conventional sense. And I read this one because I was falling severely behind in my goal for this summer and wanted to catch up. BUT, let's not let that fact negate the value of PostSecret books. They are simple and INTERESTING. And some of the secrets are genuinely profound.

Favorite Secrets:
"I love my TV more than people."

"My ex-boyfriend would sit down when he peed. I would bring it up in arguments."

Over Halfway Review

Status Update: Still in the trenches with Ayn Rand.

I have been reading Atlas Shrugged for about a month now, and I am well over halfway finished, but still a few weeks away from being done.

BUT, I will take this opportunity to reflect on my 52-in-52 booklist as a whole. Here are some random rankings from best to worst books, best quotes, etc...

5 Best Books

1. Atlas Shrugged (Doesn't officially count because this is not my first time reading it.)
1. Downtown Owl
2. Outliers
3. Wuthering Heights
4. Armageddon in Retrospect
5. Child 44

5 Worst Books

1. Breaking Dawn
2. How Doctors Think
3. Letters from a Nut
4. Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging
5. Let's Spend the Night Together

5 Most Influential Books

1. Atlas Shrugged (Still doesn't officially count.)
1. Outliers
2. Blink
3. Tipping Point
4. Why is God Laughing?
5. Wuthering Heights

5 Funniest Books

1. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.
2. My Horizontal Life
3. Downtown Owl
4. Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas
5. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs

5 Most Boring Books

1. How Doctors Think
2. Sex Lives of the Popes
3. The Darwin Awards
4. Treatise on Tolerance
5. Let's Spend the Night Together

5 Weirdest Books

1. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
2. Choke
3. God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian
4. The Glass Castle
5. Armageddon in Retrospect

5 Best Quotes

Note: My top 100 quotes are from Atlas Shrugged, but because I have read it more than once, I will stick to quotes from books I have read only this year.

1. "I am a humanist, which means, in part, I behave decently with no expectation of reward or punishment in an Afterlife." Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian.
2. "We all believe that we are a certain kind of person, but we never know until we do something that proves otherwise, or until we die." Chuck Klosterman, Downtown Owl
3. "Religion can be a Tylenol for a lot of unhappy people, and I'm so glad it works." Kurt Vonnegut, Armageddon in Retrospect.
4. "I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had." Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner.
5. "We have the purpose of preventing bigots and ignoramuses from controlling the education of the United States." Clarence Darrow, Scopes Monkey Trial.

Runners Up:
"If anyone here should wind up on a gurney in a lethal injection facility, here is what your last words should be: 'This will certainly teach me a lesson.'" Kurt Vonnegut, Armageddon in Retrospect.
"Within the two hour time frame of the romantic movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by "coincidence" somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers." Chelsea Handler, My Horiztonal Life.
"I had escaped from Welch, WV, once, and now, breathing in those same old smells of turpentine, dog hair, and dirty clothes, of stale beer and cigarette smoke and unrefrigerated food slowly going bad, I had the urge to bolt." Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle.

So there you have it. Back to Atlas Shrugged!

More Sex

"Sex Lives of the Popes" as a book was pretty boring. Perhaps that is merely a reflection on the sex lives of popes. I think it's deeper than that, though.

The structure was tough to follow. The writing was not very engaging. It was kind of like reading a textbook - and it should not have been that way! Sex is an interesting subject, especially sexual histories of the popes! I mean for god sake, the popes aren't supposed to be having ANY sex. And here this author has managed to take a story about romance, lies, deception, scandal, and rebellion and turn it into a windier, drier version of the Book of Numbers. And I thought Numbers was as awful as it got.

Sex with Kings

Sarcasm: A+
Entertainment Value: A
Diction: A-
Educational Value: B
Organization: D+

I don't think Eleanor Herman is that great a writer, however I do think she picked a pretty interesting topic and relays the information in a relatively humorous way. Her organization was confusing and required the reader to jump from date to date, location to location, and king's numerals to king's numerals (I could never figure out which King George she was talking about...). I understand her dilema: if she puts it in chronological order, it seems like a textbook, if she categorizes it by individual kings, then it seems biographical, and she would rather talk about concepts and give examples out of order, but I was almost always confused trying to remember specific details mentioned in previous chapters about each king and mistress.

I am looking forward to her second book, "Sex with the Queen," though.

The Ass Castle

I'll be honest - I was in a long love/hate relationship with The Glass Castle.

The Love:
Jeannette Walls is a pretty decent writer
Some parts were interesting
I LOVE that she didn't let her parents get in the way of her goals
I LOVE that she got out of Welch, West Virginia, and never looked back

The Hate:
I wanted to punch Jeannette's parents in the face, always
Especially her mom
Lots of parts were boring
It took me FOREVER to finish
I hated their lifestyle (ie. never fulfilling their obligations/"skedaddling")

In the end, it was a unique book. I've never heard of anyone living the way she did (and being normal afterward)...

Favorite Quotes:

Professor Fuchs: "Is homelessness the result of drug abuse and misguided entitlement programs, as the conservatives claim, or is at, as the liberals argue, because of cuts in social service programs and the failure to create economic opportunity for the poor."
Jeannette: "Sometimes, I think, it's neither."

"I had escaped from Welch once, and now, breathing in those same old smells of turpentine, dog hair, and dirty clothes, of stale beer and cigarette smoke and unrefrigerated food slowly going bad, I had the urge to bolt."

Leadership Secrets from the Executive Office

Short book, but good advice. I really liked how specific many pieces of advice were -things we can do everyday. Very simple and to the point.

Favorite Quote:
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson.

A Million Little Pieces

James Frey uses a very interesting and effective writing technique: stripped bare sentences and plain diction. It really emphasizes the desolation and despair Frey feels in rehab. It's a pretty decent book.

However, Lawton drew my attention to the fact that there was a scandal about parts of the book being fabricated. I have decided against investigating those allegations, mainly because I want to remember the book as a positive influence, instead of "A Million Little Lies."

The Secret Speech

Highly entertaining. Presumably well researched. Decent writing.

But I'll be perfectly honest, I didn't like this one as much as I liked Child 44. In Child 44, the main character is pursuing a worthy goal (save his wife who may or may not love him and save himself by solving a series of murders). In The Secret Speech, he is trying to save a snotty little brat he adopted who unreservedly loathes him. But then again, I hate kids, so of course I would hate a book about rescuing one.

No favorite quotes, all quotes require too much context to convey the desired effect.

Klosterman IV

Let's be honest here, the man can write. 'Nuff said.

Favorite Quotes:

All the "Questions" asked in the first part of each "Things That Might Be True" essay.

"My editor found it slightly bizarre that I liked Billy Joel, since he was living under the impression that I sat in a bomb shelter listening to Warrant and snorting cocaine off an Ouija board."

Killing Yourself to Live

AAAAHHHHHH I love Klosterman's writing style. Even though what he writes about (rock and roll because he is a rock critic) does not really interest me, I loved this book. He's such a fantastic writer. I just wish I was familiar with his allusions, it would make the book so much more meaningful, but that's my fault, not his.

If he wrote a plumber's manual, I would read it. That's how good his writing is.

AND, guess what? NO GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. At all. In any of his books.

Why Am I Laughing?

Because I appreciate the irony in me reading a spirituality book. "Why Is God Laughing?" by Deepak Chopra was, unfortunately, a bit subpar. I feel like Chopra might be a bit of a hypocrite, but if you want a more detailed explanation, ask me about it so I can babble through my logic in person (and thereby insure that no one has a written record of my jumbled thought process).

The Darwin Awards

I'll be honest, I thought it would be better. It was okay, but the author was kind of mean about the whole thing.

Worst of all, I feel like some of the things mentioned in the book are things I wouldn't have the common sense to know not to do.

Downtown Bowel

"Downtown Owl," by Chuck Klosterman. Read it. It's brilliant.

I swear I could have been reading about Walworth, complete with the ignorant senior citizens sharing their misinformed opinions at Ray's Pitstop, the embellished football stories of old, and the drug and alcohol abuse.

I can say with 100% certainty that Chuck Klosterman is a superb writer with a refreshingly honest perspective.

Favorite Quotes:

"We all believe that we are a certain kind of person, but we never know until we do something that proves otherwise, or until we die."

"What she said: 'What kind of play was it? I used to watch the Packers with my dad. Was it a flea-flicker? I love flea-flickers. If I were a football coach, my team would run a lot of flea-flickers. The flea-flicker would be the key to our offense.'
What she was attempting to convey through means that made no sense: By espousing an exaggerated affinity for a specific NFL gadget play, I am displaying an awareness of how football is played (which is central to the conversation we are presently conducting) along with a willingness to watch football on television (in case that quality is important to you when looking for a romantic partner). However, by playfully claiming that I would employ said ludicrous gadget play all the time (were I somehow an NFL offensive coordinator), I am indicating that I'm still a girl in the traditional, conventional sense and no threat to you masculinity. It's win-win."

Golf for Dummies

I'm taking up golf. This was a great guide - Gary McCord is funny and doesn't take things too seriously; however, I was sometimes a bit put off by his self-deprecation as it made me question his "street cred."

Liberal Poetry

Instead of rendering a comprehensive opinion about "Deciding the Next Decider," by Calvin Trillin, I'll list the pros and cons.

Pros:
- It leans liberal
- It rhymes
- It's pretty funny
- It's educational (!)
- It's a pretty accurate representation of the election

Cons:
- Many of the songs are set to fairly unknown melodies (well, unknown to me at least)
- Sometimes the diction was unclear because specific words had to be used to fit the rhyme scheme
- Sometimes it was a bit boring
- Many times you have to have extensive background information to pick up on the allusions

Favorite Quote:
"Mitt Romney's Song:
Yes, Mitt's so slick of speech and slick of garb, he
Reminds us all of Ken, of Ken and Barbie -
So quick to shed his moderate regalia,
He may, like Ken, be lacking genitalia."

Veil of Roses

Meh. The entertainment value was relatively high; it held my attention at the airports and throughout the plane rides, so it served its purpose.

HATED the ending. Talk about anticlimactic.

Child 44

Soooooo, I loved it. Child 44, by Tom Rob Smith, was captivating, gripping, intriguing, and apparently well researched. I feel like I shouldn't have loved it though... It was Dan Brown-esque (there is a central plot, but random chapters are devoted to past events/different characters in order to fill in the gaps in the reader's information). I can't shake the feeling that that isn't a very good way to write, especially when the author relies almost entirely on this technique to convey the important information. It's just too much...

But as I said, I really did love it from an entertainment point of view. And I REALLY liked the main character. You should read it.

Monkeys

As far as history texts go, The Scopes Trial: A Brief History in Documents, by Jeffrey P. Moran, was quite tolerable. While it was incredibly dry at times, the book had some really great qualities: the structure was easy to follow, the commentary was helpful, and the pictures were appropriately placed to break up the monotony of the text.

I genuinely enjoyed reading the court transcripts of Clarence Darrow's defense arguments; the judge effectively took away his weapons by prohibiting ALL of the evidence compiled for the defense, yet Darrow still managed to kick ass using pure improvisational strategy.

Favorite Quotes:
"Darrow broke Bryan's heart under the pitiless Tennessee sun."

Stewart: "What is the purpose of this examination?"
Bryan: "To cast ridicule on everybody who believes in the Bible, and I am perfectly willing that the world shall know that these gentlemen have no other purpose than ridiculing every Christian who believes in the Bible."
Darrow: "We have the purpose of preventing bigots and ignoramuses from controlling the education of the United States and you know it, and that is all."

Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging

This book reminds me: I hate teenage girls.

Letters from a Putz

"Letters from a Nut" sucked. There were some funny parts, but most of the time it was just stupid. I also feel like if the author truly sent those letters (ie. this was real), then he was being kind of an asshole - why would you inconvenience businesses this way? The poor guys who had to search a bathroom/the hotel garbage for a tooth that wasn't there probably did not appreciate being sent on a treasureless treasure hunt. This book is a waste of time - books can be funny and pointless and brilliant anyway, but this one wasn't: it was bland and pointless.

He'll Getcha with the Title

"More Sex is Safer Sex" by Steven Landsburg was interesting: he presented a number of different solutions to very complex problems, he addressed some captivating topics, and used math, logic, and rational analysis to prove his points. Here is my problem: his reasoning, deductions, and lines of thought are infallible - everything makes sense. Until the very end of his argument. Everything is in order, everything is scrupulously analyzed and dissected, and everything leads directly to a logical conclusion. But the conclusion isn't right. I still cannot fathom how the argument falls apart at the very end, even though every single detail makes 100% sense. I guess his assumptions are incorrect... So it goes.

Sex, Drugs, and Rock of Love

Story of my life. Just kidding, obviously not.

I have mixed feelings about Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman. I loved it: I loved his writing, I loved the topics he addressed, and I loved his humor. It is also very clear that this guy is smart: he's analytical and he appears to be an original thinker. However, the mixed feelings come into play when considering the importance of this book. It isn't important. It's observant, but that's about it. It doesn't change the way I look at things and it isn't going to have an impact on the world. It does, however, smack you in the face with self awareness if you don't have any already.

His writing is very complex, as are his analyses. It's a great book and you should read it. My favorite part was his essay on The Real World (on MTV). This is my favorite part for one reason: it makes me feel less guilty about watching Rock of Love. The Real World is something of a cousin to Rock of Love, and if a guy this smart watches TRW as religiously as I watch RoL, I guess all hope has not been lost.

Best Quote:
"The three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can love them:..."
Read that section, page 126.

A Long Way Gone

I am not sure what to say about this book. In sum, a man recounts his experiences as a child soldier and his subsequent rehabilitation in Sierra Leone in the 1990s. I just felt bad for him the whole time - he seemed to have so many run-ins with death, he came so close to getting out successfully so many times, and he just narrowly missed it. I'll go ahead and spoil one part of the book for everyone, since I'm sure no one is going to read it: he had been wandering around in the jungle for months, being hunted down by RUF (rebel) soldiers, being shot at, getting wounded, searching desperately for his family (and wondering if they were even alive), and when he finally gets word that they are in the next village, he misses seeing them by minutes, literally. They are killed in an attack just minutes before he finds them. Shit.

His prose is stripped down and he presents the facts without any emotion, without trying to justify his actions, and without blaming anyone. After reading the book, I can't believe he was able to get out of Sierra Leone, get back into society, function as a normal person, and then write a book depicting all of these horrible things he experienced as a 12 year old. Without losing his mind.

The Kite Runner

Holy shit. I've never whipped a book across my room before, but I did with this one. Twice. Parts of the plotline made me cringe (literally), some parts made me throw my hands over my face in disgust, and some made me so furious I had to stop reading. It was powerfully written, and (relatively speaking), quite unpredictable.

This book is fantastic not only for the responses it illicits from readers, but also because it makes people in the Middle East look like humans (as opposed to just numbers in a death toll).

My favorite quotes:

"I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn't. I just watched. Paralyzed."

"There is a way to be good again."

Chelsea's Horizontal Life

God she's good. Chelsea Handler is extraordinarily funny and writes very well. I think I liked "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" a little bit more, but "My Horizontal Life" was outstanding as well.

I love how frank she is, not only about the guys, the situations, and her "influences" (drugs and alcohol), but also about herself. She's just hilarious.

Some of my favorite quotes (taken completely out of context):

"If you've ever seen the hind legs of a German shephard trotting away from you, then you know what my ex-boyfriend's calves looked like."

"It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One."

"Within the two hour time frame of the romantic movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by "coincidence" somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers."

"Many people feel like a one-night stand is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. I disagree. There are many ways to get to know someone, and my personal favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose."

"Generally, this type of underwear wasn't worn by anyone under sixty."

PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions of Ordinary Lives

I read PostSecret.com every Sunday (that's the day it is updated to contain new posts). PostSecret is a "community art project" and this is the book that contains the first few entries. It's a quick read: 272 pages of postcards/mailings that contain anonymous secrets; it takes well under an hour to finish, intro included. Some of the postcards are really funny ("When I first meet someone, I imagine what it would be like to smack them across the face") and some are really sad ("I wish he had forgiven me... While he was still alive"). It's an interesting assortment of random thoughts and confessions.

My favorite humorous quote: "I am a Southern Baptist Pastor's Wife. No one knows I don't believe in God." Well, depending on your perspective, I suppose it could also be a sad quote.

Outliers: The Story of Success

Malcolm Gladwell is an exceptional writer. Outliers was painstakingly researched. His analysis was dead on. The whole book was utterly captivating. Read it. And then get started on your 10,000 hours for an activity of your choice.

Testing My Tolerance

Voltaire's "Treatise on Tolerance" was decent. He makes some exceptional, forward-thinking statements, especially for his time. He wants everyone to stop squabbling over religion and let each other live in peace. Excellent proposition, sir! But the execution of this plan seems slightly illusive, Voltaire. Next time you're trying to start a movement, a game plan would be nice.

I had to read this for my Trials class (well, actually I only had to read the first and last five chapters, but I figured I had already waded through the bulk of the intellectual material, I might as well finish it and count it toward 52 in 52). He really does make some good points, supported by facts and logical analysis. I had 2 problems though: no strategy to implement his plan, and his style was incredibly condescending. In referring to his Christian beliefs, he made statements like, "Our faith is divine, we must forgive others for their misconceptions." I lost a bit of respect for Voltaire when I found out he was religious; while he was spouting the ideals of tolerance, he was simultaneously belittling those who were not Christians. Yuck.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea.

This book rocked my world. Chelsea Handler, the host of "Chelsea Lately" on E! is the female equivalent of Jon Stewart (from "The Daily Show, with Jon Stewart"). Obviously, there was nothing life-altering about this book, but it was truly hilarious and gives new meaning to "reading for fun." Her sense of humor is dry, ironic, and blatant. I loved it. As I read it on the bike at the YMCA, I constantly burst out laughing, treadmill occupants' opinions of me be damned.

A few quotes:

While dining at Dans le Noir, a "dine in the dark" restaurant: "Sarah, no one can see you here, who cares? Take it off and rest your tickets on the table. I'm thinking about pulling my pants down just for shits and giggles."

"Yeah. They kicked me out and told me never to come back, and called me a wesbian... Yeah, and that's not the worst of it. I think I just got dry humped. By a woman. And paid for it."

After Chelsea's friend, Morgan, sent Chelsea a picture of her dog: "This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I was actually pleased because I had gathered the materials necessary to respond appropriately. I clicked reply and sent Morgan a picture of my cleaning lady. Standing next to the toilet, alone. I attached a message that read, "Not interested? Me neither."

Old Washed Up Skanks Justifying Their Current STDs

I gotta be honest, I absolutely hated "Let's Spend the Night Together" by Pamela Des Barres. I watch Rock of Love, so I read this to get an idea of what groupies are really like. To summarize the book: 376 pages of self-righteous, self-centered, poor writing about the (embellished) sexual conquests of groupies in the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Here is why it sucked:
1. I hated her diction.
a. Using "big girl" words like "sequestered" and "raucous" multiple times on the same page does not make you sound intelligent
b. If you are going to use the "big girl" words, make sure you know what they mean
2. I hated her Cosmopolitan-ish phrases
a. Alliteration in moderation, please
b. I am going to punch the next person who uses the phrase "devil-may-care" or some other cliche because they cannot come up with anything original to use descriptively
3. And most importantly, I hated the way she rationalized the groupie mentality (let me say here that I am not judging these groupies on what they did, but rather on how they make up bullshit reasons after its over).
a. You were NOT making some sort of freedom statement, y0u were having sex to build your self esteem (in most cases)
b. You did NOT pave the way for the women's movement (A direct quote from the book: "We paved the way for a lot of freedom that women take for granted and don't appreciate." Are you f-ing kidding me? You were having unprotected sex with a bunch of nasty guys who used you. Yeah, real top notch women's lib efforts there).

A final statement: Pamela Des Barres, you are a terrible writer and you are not educating anyone. You sound like one of those sad old men who sits in bars talking about his high school glory days.

Who the Hell is Martin Guerre?

I had to read "The Return of Martin Guerre" for my Trials class. It sucked. Now I realize, and have taken into account, the fact that historical writing is not meant to be entertaining, but for God's sake, the author of this book could have at least made an attempt. Her writing style was confusing and boring, the way she told the story (and the way she referenced trial documents and transcripts throughout) was disorganized, and many of the details she included were quite dry and unnecessary. The story itself was interesting, but she was horrible at telling it.

I'm glad it's over.

A Note On Naked Lunch

I have a policy: at page 50 of every book, I stop and decide whether or not to continue reading. I gave Naked Lunch the full 50 pages, and I decided to return it to the UWW library.

This book was supposed to horrify and disgust me, make me cringe and gag, make me sad and sick. It did not. I was not shocked or outraged, I was indifferent. Maybe I'm just heartless, but I could not dismiss the nagging feeling that drug users get what they get. So it goes.

I stopped reading because I felt there was no point and the book was intolerably boring (and confusing, but not in the good way). I might have kept reading if Burroughs had actually given up drugs after writing this book, just to support his efforts. He did not, so I owe him nothing.

Well Of Course That's How Doctors Think

I just finished How Doctors Think, by Jerome Groopman. It came highly recommended by the guys who wrote Freakonomics; needless to say, it was well below par. It stated very obvious things in a very roundabout, repetitive way.

It also broke one of my cardinal rules: leave out your religious beliefs, please and thank you. This guy (subtly) injected his own religious beliefs into a number of the stories, which I did not appreciate. To his credit, though, he did acknowledge some benefits of atheistic/agnostic viewpoints, however briefly.

If you must read this one, skim it.

Armageddon in Retrospect in Retrospect

I've been on a Vonnegut spree for a few days now and I always enjoy his brutal honesty, irreverence, and twisted humor. Armageddon in Retrospect was interesting, but I had false hopes for this book from the beginning: the second chapter was utterly brilliant and hilarious, which I should have known could not possibly have continued throughout the rest of the book. I wish I had read the second chapter last.

As I said to Lawton today, "It's a good book, but I don't know if you'll like it. You and you're Republican values and all..." To which he had a witty, however delayed, response. I didn't have a comeback. Maybe I'll have one tomorrow. Digression aside, the book is worth reading, but don't expect the entire book to be as delightful as the second chapter (a transcript of the speech he wrote and his son gave at Clowes Hall, Indianapolis in April, 2007 shortly after his death). So it goes.

Favorite Quote(s): "If anyone here should wind up on a gurney in a lethal injection facility, here is what your last words should be: 'This will certainly teach me a lesson.'"

"Religion can be Tylenol for a lot of unhappy people, and I'm so glad it works."

"I have the humorist Paul Krasner to thank for pointing out the big difference between George W. Bush and Hitler: Hitler was elected."

Haha

I Don't Have the Balls or Focus to Write a Real "This I Believe" Essay

"This I Believe" is a selection of essays written for NPR (out of New York, I believe). People submitted their stories/beliefs; people like Einstein, Gloria Steinem, William F. Buckley, and regular people like a nurse in Manhattan.

Decent book. Too much talk about religion, but I guess when someone asks you what you believe, the first thing that generally comes to mind is spirituality/religion/afterlife... Lawton wrote his own "This I Believe" after reading the book, but I am not sure what the most significant belief I hold is. So, I'll write a few one liners that constitute part of my beliefs, interpret them as you will.

I believe that reading makes you smarter, no matter what you read.

I believe in the capitalist system.

I believe in America.

I believe that the day I fully embraced my desire to wear only sweats (and everything that sweats represent: comfort, convenience, time saving, and cost effectiveness), was the day I fully embraced myself. Haha.

I believe people are who they are. You can't change that, so embrace it and play to your strengths.

I believe in doing whatever makes you happy without imposing on others' right to be happy.

I believe in abortion, gay rights, animal rights, and tolerance, even if you think people are full of shit.

I believe there is no god and no afterlife.

I believe that the opportunity for my success so far was made possible by my dad.

I believe House is not miserable as Wilson, Cuddy and some "insightful" patients insist he is.

This I believe.

Yes, God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

77 pages + huge print = 33 minutes and 42 seconds of reading.

Glod Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian, by Kurt Vonnegut, was great. The deal is: Vonnegut coordinates with Dr. Kevorkian to go through a series of near death experiences (Kevorkian makes him 3/4 dead then brings him back) so he can interview dead people. There are three defining characteristics:
1. Each interview is incredibly short: Vonnegut captures the pure essence of each person's existence in just a few words
2. The intro line and sign off follow a pattern, look for it
3. There are factual details embedded in the text about Vonnegut's own beliefs and also about Dr. Kevorkian's trials

If you need a quick read to get back on track with 52 in 52, read this; but be careful, sometimes you forget it's fiction.

Favorite Quote: "I am a humanist, which means, in part, I behave decently with no expectation of reward or punishment in an Afterlife."

Choke by Chuck

I'll make this brief: apparently, most people are disturbed/disgusted with Choke, by Chuck Palahniuk (yes, the author of Fight Club); I thought it was brilliant up until the last 30 pages or so when it became semi-ridiculous. Though the very end makes up for pages 260-291 (out of 293).

His theme is fascinating and makes a great deal of sense, in a sick (and on some levels completely accurate) way. It's beautiful.

I Also Feel Bad About My Neck

I have always had a sneaking suspicion that I am secretly an old woman. All the signs were there: I am the only human inhabitant of my home (old woman characteristic exacerbated by the fact that my "roommates" are four cats - crazy cat lady, anyone?), I am currently on medication for a stomach ulcer, the last time I got really excited was two weeks ago when I bought a new mop, I have back problems (for which I do exercises on therapy balls and see a chiropractor), I have recently made special dietary alterations like switching to whole wheat grains and drinking vegetable juice, my roots are turning brown, etc.

My suspicions were confirmed by I Feel Bad About My Neck, by Nora Ephron. In the book, she talks about a number of different aspects of being an (older) woman - things from special "beauty" tips to finding old-person apartments in NYC to dying. She is very, very funny and it was quite a good read. I initially picked it up because I was eager to try out my new library card at the Lake Geneva Public Library and because Amanda said Nora had been on Chelsea Lately; I was immediately interested (plus, it's only 137 pages long!). The book did not disappoint.

I thought this book was very much like works by Malcolm Gladwell: random facts, anecdotes, and analyses of different situations all relating in some way to the central theme of the book, but Ephron was much more succinct (and less repetitive). She had some interesting points about everything from cooking to divorce to writing for major news publications. Anyone (female) looking for a light, quick, funny book that you can relate to in at least a couple ways, here you go.

Favorite Quote: "You can order more than one dessert."
Or, with a slightly more familiar twist: "You can order more than one of the same dessert."

I Felt Like House Reading This Book

I had no idea what to expect from What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, by Raymond Carver. There were two major conflicting ideas in my mind: Mr. Brower gave it five stars on goodreads (!), but its title (depending on the tone in which you read it) could sound sort of sappy. But, as previously stated, Brower gave it five stars so I could safely assume it wasn't a sappy, generic romance novel. What was it then?

It was fantastic. It's a collection of short stories, which don't really seem to relate. The common thread (with the exception of only two stories) is that the stories center around disfunctional relationships between married couples. The book is, in essence, a realistic telling of marriage; it avoids the idealized view of perfect "true love." It was quite refreshing.

The thing that separates this books is the writing style: minimalism. Everything is stripped away except the most vital details. No context is given for any story, but in four pages worth of prose, you are able to infer everything relevant about each character's life. More importantly, there is no explicit conclusion to any of the stories. The book is difficult for this reason: every detail is significant, but the reader has to decide why; then, the reader has to form his own conclusion based on the evidence. I felt like reading this book was like watching a Forensic Files episode without the narrator's commentary and without seeing the last five minutes: the facts are there, you know what the answer is, but it is never explicitly stated. No explanations are given, ever, but you know what happens and why, strictly based on the selection of detail. It's unsettling, but once I got used to it, I loved solving the puzzles.

Three Grammatical Errors, That's All I Recall

As the title implies, Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, was fascinating, but I counted three grammatical errors and, to be honest, that is all that stands out in my mind.

Gladwell is an extremely talented writer and statistician, so I was thoroughly disappointed by these mistakes. However, I will forgive him long enough to describe something about the book I found interesting...

One of the initial case studies of the book is about a guy who instinctively knows whether or not a marriage will work out. He has studied facial expressions and reactions for so long that, within two minutes, he can predict with 90% accuracy how a marriage will turn out. That's incredible! One thing I wondered, though, was whether or not he told his subjects the results of his analysis. How would you feel if some guy watched you and your spouse interact for ten minutes and then told you that within the next five years you would be divorced? Yikes. I'd be pissed. But more importantly, I'd start lining up a divorce lawyer... That, however, would be a self-fulfilling prophecy, so I suppose he can't tell his subjects the results or the accuracy would be compromised.

I've read this post about six times to make sure I don't have a grammatical error, so back to the original point: grammar is important, people! Get it together.

What Kind of Smoker Am I?

I'm not one. And odds are in my favor that I never will be. If I was one, though, what kind would I be? In the final chapter of Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell, the US "smoking epidimic," types of smokers, and ultimate causes of smoking are analyzed. While the results he discusses are, frankly, predictable, it got me thinking about why I don't smoke, never have smoked, and have no desire to smoke in the future. I mean, I'm a teenager, I spend several hours a day in my car commuting (meaning I have time to do it), and I have easy access to cigarettes; so what gives?

Gladwell says that three things influence a person's tendency to smoke: genetic predisposition, how "taboo" smoking is in the family, and peer pressure. In theory, the more tolerant a person's body is to nicotene, the more likely the person will smoke. The more rebellious it appears to be, the more likely a person (especially a teenager) is to try it. The more peer pressure to smoke, the more likely a person is to give in to it. However, Gladwell never gave a concrete explanation of which aspect carries the most weight (although his presentation suggests that there is a pecking order). I am not a doctor, nor do I have anything but my own experiences to go on, but I am going to make a conjecture: parents' attitudes toward experimenting with cigarettes is the ultimate determinant.

First, I'd like to rule out genetic predisposition. My paternal grandmother smoked heavily. My father has the occassional cigar while mowing the yard. My mother was an avid smoker in her teenage years, quit when she was pregnant with me, and a few months ago picked it up again. Genetically, I am not necessarily predisposed to nicotene addiction, but my body could handle it (and probably in very large amounts if my grandmother is any indication).

Second, I'd like to rule out peer pressure. My circle of friends consists largely of college students, many of whom smoke. I am frequently offered cigarettes ("C'mon, just one. It's not gonna kill ya..."). Occassionally, I end up riding in a car with someone who wants to light up. There is plenty of pressure, but I give a polite "No, thanks," and take a pass on the cigarettes.

Now, I'll make the case for parental attitudes. My mother's parents are incredibly strict: my mom would have gotten the crap beat out of her if my grandmother knew about her smoking habit as a teenager. Smoking was absolutely not permitted in her family: the feeling of badass rebellion was just a puff away for my mom. My father's family, on the other hand, would have had no problem with him smoking. He didn't feel compelled to smoke.

I have had a drag of one cigar: I might have been 6 at the time. I saw my dad smoking and asked if I could try. He let me have a puff and I hated it. End of story. At no point in my teenage years have I ever felt that I was rebelling if I picked up smoking. And I haven't.

Or maybe I am just so genetically similar to my father that I run no risk of nicotene addiction and have an utter disregard for my peers' opinions of me (and therefore withstand peer pressure), in which case genetics is the most important component. But I'd like to give my dad's wisdom and foresight the benefit of the doubt.

Technically It Wouldn't Have Been Incest...

Wuthering Height's Catherine and Heathcliff, the classic love/tragedy story. Best friends? For sure. Brother and sister? Kinda. Lovers? Nope - and that's the kicker. They really were exact matches: same wild spirit, mutual self-sacrifice exclusively for the other, and perfect unspoken understanding.

Let me state a disclaimer before I go any further: I'm a kid, "love" is not my thing. The word gets thrown around loosely (and my age group perpetuates the problem, I know). However, I can positively identify "true love" when I see it, and Catherine and Heathcliff have got it.

The funny thing is though, their love was not supposed to work. It didn't. It couldn't, or else its unrelenting hold on both of them would not have been as plainly and indisputably obvious as it was. Catherine sacrificed herself by marrying Edgar so that she and Heathcliff (most importantly, Heathcliff) would not have to live in poverty. The contrast between Edgar and Heathcliff had to be made, otherwise the perfect match between Catherine and Heathcliff could not be fully realized. And Heathcliff is tortured without Catherine. He is wretched and evil, feeling only pain and misery that he is compelled to inflict on others so he does not have to bear it alone. Ultimately, they could not be together because they were the same person: willing to sacrifice their own happiness for the other, which in the end left the score at sacrifices: 2, happiness: 0.

Breaking Yawn

'09 started off poorly with regards to my reading endeavors. I began with Breaking Dawn (the fourth and final installment in the Twilight series). It sucked. The best part was on the last page when it said "The End." Seriously.

Twilight enthusiasts talk almost exclusively about the main characters: Edward (the "dream man"/vampire), Bella (the weak, pathetic human girl that loves Edward), Jacob (Bella's best friend/werewolf), or Alice (Edward's insightful, future-predicting "sister"), I found myself disliking all of them at one point or another (or throughout the entire series...Bella). People think these characters are the heroes, the all-stars, the ideals. They are not. At the end of the day, these characters are confused, irrational, indecisive, undisciplined children. The only character that had any substance, any backbone, is probably the one least mentioned and most universally disliked: Leah.

Leah's a bitch. Most of the time. She is the only female werewolf in Jacob's pack and, long story short, resents everyone for it. Leah, however, is a real trooper: she puts up with the guys and their crap; she is strong and independent; she always thinks rationally; and she is the only character in the entire series (an agonizing four books) who sticks to her convictions and never falters. I appreciated that: she was reliable in every sense of the word. I still have not mentioned her best quality: loyalty. Leah dislikes and resents Jacob (whether it's fair or not is debatable), but he is part of her pack and when he is threatened, she stands up for him, against huge opposition. That won me over. You go, Leah.

In the Beginning...

Lawton created the 52 in 52 Challenge.

I've been looking for an excuse to haul myself off the couch and away from House and Scrubs.

In his blog, Lawton has chosen to reflect on a quote from each book. I won't steal his idea. I will write a brief reflection on one character, or the relationship between two characters, and might even try to compare him/her/them to some modern pop culture icon(s). We'll see.

52 books. 52 weeks. Game on.